Atmospheric Black Metal Kitchen

Wolves in the Throne Room: Keeping Black Metal Trve (and American!)

2009-05-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

Beginning on May 16th in Chicago, Wolves in the Throne Room have been on tour with Krallice and A Storm of Light, revitalizing the black metal scene and burning churches (OK, maybe not so much) in a country that has needed it the most: America. Wolves in the Throne Room have even had the opportunity to play one of the biggest festivals in the states, Maryland Death Fest, alongside Mayhem, Marduk, Atheist and Pestilence.

Outside of Webster Hall in New York, a long line of people (yes, a line!) were waiting anxiously to enter, as tickets and ID's were checked obnoxiously slow. After waiting almost half an hour to enter (even though doors had opened over 45 minutes prior), I finally reached the packed basement. A Storm of Light set the mood for the night with their sludgy doom metal presence. Their live show is

powerful and just as atmospheric as their LP. As for Krallice, well, any band with Colin Marston (Behold... the Arctopus, Byla) needs no introduction. Their style of progressve black metal is crowd friendly in the sense that the hooks will cause any onlooker to nod their head, even for just a bit (of course until they change the time signature). Lastly, Wolves in the Throne Room took the stage with their intense fog machines and candles spread over the stage, which made it even sweeter to watch them. Their intense set was almost non-stop, with little to no crowd discussion. Their style is definitely a matured and revivised form of black metal, comparing this to black metal in its purest sense. Going as far as deeming them a "post-black metal" act, as controversial as it may seem, could most certainly be argued. Even though most of the tour is complete, if one has the opportunity to see this tour, I would approve.

Photos Courtesy of Bill Shouldis via MetalInsider.Net

Ramblings on metal culture and geekdom

2009-05-06T16:47:00.001-07:00

(x-posted fom Live Journal)
An 'Op-Ed'

I was listening to some Dissection today. Storm of the Light's Bane. This got me thinking. Modern metal is contradictory and liminal. It is an 'outsider' music/culture that is mainstream - metalheads like to cultivate this badass, elite, oppressed attitude but everyone's listened to a Maiden or Sabbath song at least once in their lives. Metal is coarse, grotesque and transcendental. But this article isn't about the music itself, which you can go hear on lastfm or the back pages of this site (download, people!)

Modern metal culture (thenceforth referred to as 'metal') is a safe space for kids labeled 'geeks' and 'freaks' to assert themselves with a set of 'given' rules - the foremost of which is not giving a shit what people think. It is also an answer to the postmodern while questioning the modern- and the premodern. It's also become a space for immigrant men, particularly from Latin America, Europe, Asia and the Middle East, to assert a space for themselves.

While hip hop, punk and goth negotiate the dominant paradigm by being explicitly racialized, gendered, exoticized and classed, non-NSBM metal seeks to move away from this. Black metal doesn't mean God Forbid (who are thrash). Female-fronted bands are only noted as such if they're in a certain florid genre (Nightwish, Sirenia). It also embraces neurodiversity. ADHD? Try speed metal. Depressed? Doom metal's for you. Bipolar? How about melodic death? Metal defines itself as a brotherhood by being individualistic within an tacit collectivism, instead of pussyfooting around and singing Kumbayah.

The most empowering thing about metal is its rage against the 'geek' idea. Intelligence is strength. Knowledge is power. Dreams are strength and power. Depression can be strength. You become stronger than the jocks - you are stronger than the brute-force jocks. Because you can see change- you are change, and you can assert yourself. Revenge of the nerds, but as the nerds take their revenge they become more than nerds.

While there is a 'metal way of dress' it is not enforced the way 'goth' is. Again - as contradictory - it is 'more metal' to wear a suit and tie than wear a metal shirt and be unemployed. Within metal's defined liminality, charged with power, we make manifest our internal power. Playing Dungeons and Dragons isn't just accepted here, dragons and swords become symbols of strength and virility. Verbal intelligence is respected, like mathematical is in the engineering world. There is a different social order, almost tribal. It is deeply emotional, yet controlled. Unrestrained, Romantic-era emotion is 'emo', but the deep melancholy expressed in black-doom metal, the fury in death metal, the romance in gothic metal is the essence of what it is because it is brought together with strength, purpose and art. Experiencing this together in a concert is what creates the metal brotherhood.

There is in metal society a refreshing honesty and an attitude of continual, Nietzschean self-improvement - of change and vitality - rather than mindless acceptance. Metalheads regularly challenge each other as 'posers'. But does that matter, in the end? Does being fat, gay or straight matter? Metal is about perhaps the illusory core of humanity. Hip hop and punk rock are postmodern, but metal's attitude is pre-modern. In that way, hip hop espouses an agnostic humanism, while metal espouses a heathen humanism.

Metal culture also accepts what others call 'escapism'. It's accepted to read science fiction and comic books. Metal is comic book music, look at the song 'Iron Man'. At the same time, metal doesn't promote escapism for escapism's sake, or intellectualism for intellectualism's sake. It is deeply Teutonic in its practicality, roundly deriding pure escapists as 'losers'. Metal is not for the body, but for the mind, and the spirit lost to the body, yet reasserted in moshing and crowd-surfing. It is rock and roll stripped of its germinal mating-dance. Not sex in the back of a car, but harnessing that force Tantrically and using it to reassert the renewed self.

Black Metal Cookie Recipe

2009-04-20T13:05:00.001-07:00

... And here's how I make black metal cookies....

Black Metal Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 cups flour
1 1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs or 2 tbsp. flax seed egg replacer
1 tbsp baking powder (not soda) - I recommend 'Calumet'
2 cups chocolate chips
Pinch salt
1/2 cup cocoa powder

You know the drill - mix liquids and sugar, mix solids and chocolate chips, make flattened balls and bake at 375 F / 190 C for ~ 10 minutes.

Black Metal Cookies!

2009-04-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

My friend Nick found this video... LOL...

Happy 420 to all you stoner metalheads and metalhead stoners out there!

Blodarv- Beyond Life

2009-02-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Beyond life is the fourth release and first EP by the Danish black metal band. It features three tracks that would later make their appearance in different versions on various other releases and one that had already appeared in a different version. The three tracks of which are based on the death of lead vocalist Hugin’s lover Linaria Amlech and this can be felt in the tracks.

The first track Langt Vaek Fra Livet is a slow dirge style song with fuzzed guitars, melodic composed parts, and slow mournful drums. Above this are vocalist Hugin’s mid level screeching accented by the clean female vocals of fellow band member Isaz. All of these elements combine together to deliver an excellent song that is at the same time beautiful and moving while dark and depressive.

The second track Death of Linaria is a haunting spoken word ambient track consisting of fuzz, repetitive keys, and Hugin’s near silent whispers. If this sounds boring then you should give it a listen. Listen to the lyrics and think upon what this track is about and you have before you a truly mesmerizing and powerful piece of “music”.

The third and final track Beyond Life is the most “black metal” of the three filled with more fuzzed guitars melodic leads, and Hugin’s screetches. The drums are incredibly buried making them nearly inaudible but at a point where they really add more to the song this way. The song slowly builds and goes ever higher and higher following the guitars and Hugin’s increasingly powerful vocals as he tells his dreamlike tale and by the end reaches what I would describe as a minimalist epic.

All in all this is a solid release and contains three of the bands best tracks in my opinion and tells the first part in the continuing tale of Linaria.

Link: www.blodarv.org

Stock Feeder- EP 2008

2009-02-22T16:56:00.000-08:00

I received very unassuming CD-r in a pack of stuff a friend of mine sent me, there was nothing really interesting about it just a blank white CD-r and a cover ok big deal so I laid it down on the desk and left it alone for about two days. After remembering I had it I decided to plug it in and give it a listen and I must say I was actually pretty impressed.

This is the first recorded material by these grindcore/noise warriors. Now what makes this different than any other tracks of drum machine filled, crazy electronic noise you may ask? My answer is all in the riffs and the timing. While I’m not a fan of drum machines these guys know how to program one well where it accents and backs the music and doesn’t detract and kill it on top of that despite the short song times the riffing is very good and even really memorable a definite plus for any form of grind.

Spaced throughout are several tracks of well done violent noise/power electronics, talking tracks, and little bits of ambience all of this is short though to avoid annoyance by non noise fans and you can actually listen to it more than one time in a row. Not to say there are no problems with this EP though. The vocals are ok but in some points are just a little boring to me and for some reason the track Primordial Dwarfism is just really really hard to make it through.

All in all though I was really impressed by the band and I’m looking forward to what comes next.

Liver and Bacon Recipe.

2009-02-22T02:44:00.000-08:00

First of all I must add here that if you are a vegetarian or a vegan of any description then this recipe (as indicated in the title of the article) will not impress you, but if you happen to be carnivorous, then the recipe is a very good thing to try out.

Use two onions, dice them, and put them in the pan with some butter.
Wait for the onions to get a little brown, then add some mushrooms (i often use closed cup mushrooms), tomatoes, and plenty of spinach.

Anything between 200-400g of lambs liver.
Anything between 150-300g of streaked bacon.

Make sure you cut them into small pieces, as they digest much more better.

It is then just a matter of how skillful you are as a kitchen hand, give it some stir.

Once everything appears to have been cooked well, turn off the gas, and apply evenly around the pan nothing exceeding 100ml of double cream. The great thing about this recipe is that a lot of people who more often than not, happen to find liver 'repulsive' happen to find this rather delightful.

PROFANATICA- Profanatitas De Domonatia

2009-02-16T16:51:00.000-08:00

Written by JPSPearson on October 3rd, 2008

PROFANATICA- Profanatitas De Domonatia

After seventeen or so years having lapsed since their conception, it is of course interesting how an artist’s work bears its ground, especially after a prolonged period that has seen a rather spontaneous, yet scarce amount of output.

This review is not however to establish whether or not the artists can ‘stand the test of time’ or still ‘have it in them’, but to see that their work can still retain artistic validity.

The answer to this is a triumphant yes, both on a general artistic level and in the opinion of the reviewer.

Profanatica more or less retain their original approach to song writing, which is more or less a hybrid of traditional, hardcore influenced black metal such as Hellhammer and Sarcofago, with the sounds of the mid-to-late 80’s American death metal underground, and the dark sounds of Incantation, though somewhat less rhythmically juxtaposed.

However, there are small changes recognisable. One of these is the absence of any guitar solos. The production work is very precise, with a foreboding, thick, ultra-bassy guitar tone, with Paul Ledney’s drums still being versatile, but sounding rather mechanical and compressed, not doing his talents too much justice. This by no means compromises Profanatica’s sound however, but rather helps give it a new dimension, and seeing as this is their first full-length, this only serves to add a cohesion that had previously yet to present itself in any of their earlier works. One might also sense an aesthetical influence similar to the album ‘Joined In Darkness’ by Demoncy.

Ledney’s vocals are still the same, hellish rasp that permeated the band’s earliest recordings (for those unaware, almost sounding comparable to that of Krieg vocalist Imperial). Lyrical topics still focus on sodomy, blasphemy, and the defilement of anything that may be deemed ‘Christian’, a fine alternative to the ‘maturity’ embraced by many long-standing artists who often fail in their efforts to make their output more ‘sensible’.

This is a formidable album in that is very hard-hitting, even at times infectious, upon first listen. It retains all of the virtues that made them a great band in the first place, yet is unafraid to introduce new aesthetics without polluting said qualities.

Muscle Man

2009-02-14T01:50:00.001-08:00

This strangely-titled kettle from Germany is obviously targeted toward the jock population...

Super Duper Announcement!

2009-02-10T21:55:00.001-08:00

Due to our overwhelming fan response, theABMkitchen is currently in the process of revamping into an actual zine, rather than a mere blog. There will be recipes, household tips, concert reports, reviews and more! Submissions are wholeheartedly welcomed.

The Ruins of Beverast - Unlock The Shrine

2009-02-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

The Ruins of Beverast are one of those sludgy, eerie-sounding bands occupying the no man's land between the worlds of BM and doom. So, of course, they're on Blake Judd's Battle Command label. The solo project of Nagelfar's (no, not the Swedish band you know and love) drummer, Alex von Meilenwald, Beverast definitely bring a unique sound to the underground metal table - not your customary epic, ethereal medieval atmospheric stuff in the vein of Alcest or Summoning, but a lo-fi, grinding blend of horror movie soundtrack and raw metal, flavored with apocalyptic lyrics.
By apocalyptic, I mean existential, post-Christian angst:
My saviour, my mere witness indeed
I perceive your presence
Yet, you cannot approach ...
This hell is mine, I shall die between bronze walls.
Although their name is a reference to Norse mythology (say Bifrost really slowly), the Ruins' music does not contain Germanic romanticism or fist-pounding anthems. Their 16-minute 'epic' pieces are more likely to concern the Roman Empire, Jesus being nailed to the cross, and depression than anything else. That's a good reason to pick up Unlock The Shrine.

Sort of

2009-02-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not a vegetarian, but for some reason whenever I eat brown rice, I feel like I sort of am. Maybe it's the grainy taste that comes with eating this dark delicacy, but I feel at one with nature. Maybe I just feel good because I spent two dollars for about half a pound of rice. It's your call

Magic Wand blessing - and yet another lasagna recipe

2009-02-02T22:46:00.000-08:00

Candlemas, pass in radiant glory. New life rises
tentative within/below, a vagueness of verdure gasps
grasping/surfacing - Berkana's herald - not yet - just, oh
trauma contra Thanatos, rising from / breaking still ground
breaks Urgrund, breaks Water-Mother, Veiled One, revel in pain.

In this darkest hour.
On this brightest day.
Wherein baleful runes are carved, yet Diana holds sway. Maidens, we dance for Thanatos!

'Twas 'neath dappled glades I found you, in the effulgence of May
In strife you were shaped, like Spring-throes. Cutting away the skin for a better cause.
'Tween lightning and a winding road I carried you away
Scribing the name, the virtue of carved runes. Blade within my bent hand. Aluganðr, ye magic wand. Spring forth, active principle, stake my claim to the realms of air and flame!

Thus ends the blessing of this hallowed creature of sassafras!

Lasagna Recipe

I added some things to 'melt in' during re-heating, since I am done with it for the day, so I may post pictures tomorrow.

32 oz. can of tomato puree
16 oz. package of mozzarella
Sundry spices (chopped garlic, oregano, basil, cumin seed, pinch of thyme, marjoram and the like)
Soy crumbles, as much as you like (or an equal amount of lentils mixed with quinoa), stirred into the tomato puree
1 Egg or Flax Seed (2 tbsp in 1/4 cup water substitutes for each egg), mixed in with the cheese
24 oz. of ricotta (or 20 oz. of silken tofu and 4 oz. nutritional yeast)
Salt and pepper to taste
Bell peppers, onions, various other vegetables such as eggplant
Lasagna noodles (a box usually has 12)

1. Cook some vegetables, seasonings and crumbles with the tomato puree. That way, you get something resembling pasta sauce without the bother.

2. Cook the noodles as directed, then stack the items thus:
α. crumbles / puree mixture
ϐ. lasagna noodles
γ. cheese mixture
δ . mozzarella, and vegetable mixture (if needed).

Perform 2-3 iterations, or as much as is needed to use up all the noodles. Cover the last layer with 1. sauce and 2. mozzarella. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. You're done. Get fat.

Delicious Soup Is Delicious

2009-02-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

Soup to Eat on Northern Black Metal Winter Nights
Chickpeas, cooked
8 oz. canned tomatoes
6-7 cloves of garlic
1 tbsp dill
1 tsp tarragon
Some bay leaves
2 bunches of mustard greens
Mini shell pasta
Water or stock
If using water: 2 tbsp nutritional yeast and 2 tbsp light soy sauce

You know the procedure if you've read this blog.

Freakin' Novel Writing

2009-01-03T05:52:00.000-08:00

The reason I was gone for so long was: a. trying to get a 4.0 and phailing (I got 3.92 due to my sloth, but I did imbibe a lot of Derrida, but wait, I imbibed a lot of Derrida...) b. loitering on PaganSpace.net (post my tentative conversion to the neo-Pagan Weltanschauung*) and c. writing a novel.

Now, it's not November, you may say, so why write a novel? Well, for many reasons - honoring my characters by finishing their story and giving them purpose, contributing to the sci fi / fantasy genre that I've loved since the first of 81 volumes of "Journey to the West" fell in my lap a score ago, racking up publish-or-perish points for grad school (yeah, so I'm a musicologist. Hey, the novel's protagonists are musicians, and they play shawms. Shawms!**), entertaining my homies, showing off to my homies, and making some bank because I've noticed my employer shortening hours over and over again due to financially delinquent parents.

Rounding up, I'm now to 30,000 words and I've been clocking an average of 3,000 per day since I've started forcing my butt into gear. Yes, unfortunately I'm still on the first draft of Kyrinahl. I'm also working on a time-travel mystery novella with my friend Mike. This yarn is turning into a fantasy epic - there's a big battle at the end, with nukes, espionage, and magic swords. I've cut out the hacker subplot because it's just so damn cheesy. Not that the book is not cheesy without it. After all, what is fantasy but WoWish cheese, consumed with a good-sized horn of mead? Raise your horn to the great gods of SF/F and go support your local fantasy authors today.

* I did not just watch The Craft, nor do I enjoy too much Viking metal, nor am I a clichéed metal / neofolk poseur with too much time on my grubby studio-apartment dwelling, record-pawing, East Village crawling hipster hands. Go to my Livejournal, whose contents are naught but psychospiritual discourse.

** Shawms are totally fergalicious. Shawms are the predecessor to the oboe. Here are some.

Nata De Coco

2008-12-06T15:43:00.000-08:00

Today I was eating some mango-flavored Malaysian jellies and I noticed that the chewy cubes within the carrageenan matrix were described on the package as nata de coco. Naturally, I had to look this up, because anything relating to coconut and chewy things interests me.

I came upon this description: "Nata de Coco is a chewy, translucent, jelly-like substance produced by the bacterial fermentation of coconut water. It is mixed in one of the most popular refreshment, the halo-halo, with other stuffs like red beans, macapuno, sweetened bananas and sweet potatoes, ube and leche flan. There are others stuffs that I forgot to mention but nata de coco is a mainstay maybe because of it’s unique taste and consistency. There have been a craze of this product in the past because it became a hit in Japan and exported in that country so many ventured on making nata de coco due to the high demand." Nata de coco, though similar in name, is infinitely better than its fellow-ferment and soundalike, natto.

It is quite interesting that coconut can be fermented into a chewy-candy like substance. I am addicted to the cellulosey nature of nata de coco. The Filipino Entrepreneur site, from which I obtained the nata-info, also contains several recipes on how to make it at home from shredded coconut and water. Of course, obtaining nata de coco culture is important. In middle school I tried to make tempeh from old tempeh and failed miserably, befouling the closet with a horrid miasma for a week. I have, however, made bread from letting dough sit around for a few days. That is what my father said people in China used to do because they were too poor to buy yeast. I have heard the same story from Russians and Latinos. I bet people in parts of the US do the same thing. I think that the first commercial yeasts were collected from bread that just sat around a collected yeast, so you're getting free yeast out of the deal. But yeast has no relation to nata de coco, which comes from cellulogenic bacteria.

The presence of nata gives an interesting texture to the jelly; sort of forming an ur-jelly that devolves outward into progressively less and less jelliness. Once I saw a meat product called brawn that reminds me of nata de coco jelly. It came in a jar, like mass-produced borscht. As I am vegetarian, I don't think I would be able to pass judgment on this item, but I assume that the pieces of meat floating inside bear a similar relation to the surrounding aspic, and must be equally as delightful to chewiness-obsessed carnivores. I would like to hear the experiences of those who have tried this product.

Forefather - Steadfast

2008-11-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

I'd been disappointed by the previous album I'd heard - Deep Into Time - which my friend lent to me a couple of years ago. At that time, Forefather sounded like a pile of doomy mush, and not in a good way.

With Steadfast, Forefather has shaped up into a band worthy of taking back England's title as a producer of decent metal. They have a very commercial sound that I could sort of describe as blackened atmospheric sophisticated power metal- like Sonata Arctica meets Enslaved, with the subject matter of the latter, and some well-used clean singing. I generally like less mainstream sounding stuff, but the concept of a band singing in Old and Middle English, as well as about Anglo-Saxon Heathenry, absolutely delights me.

Forefather's effectiveness lies in their catchiness. It's not cheesy like Manowar, but it has that epic quality to it, which is very appropriate for the subject matter. They have the "wizard and the beast" vocals (alternating clean tenor and growling) which I find so much more appealing than "beauty and the beast". Some highlights of the album include 'Cween of the Mark' (yes, cween is the correct medieval spelling), Hallowed Halls - yet another tune about Wælheall / Valhalla, Three Great Ships, and Miri It Is, the last of which is based on a 14th century (I believe?) ballad. I can't help but sing along to this album, and that's saying a lot for somebody who regularly listens to Darkthrone before 8 AM.

If you are looking for good music with a medieval or Pagan theme, catchy bang-your-head music with balls, ditch the Amon Amarth albums and pick up your copy of Steadfast.

4.5 / 5

Download, then buy it:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2QK56H3J

Thanksgiving (Vinlandic Freyfaxi) Recipes

2008-11-27T13:04:00.001-08:00

We have again come to this silly sacrifice-holiday where we give thanks to the Earth, the various gods and goddesses, the Native American cultures, and suchlike. It's a good day to give thanks to Frey, the god of agriculture. Of course, food is the central feature, no matter what your religion is.

I'm kicking it old school this year and showing you how to make main-course type items vegetarian.

Here it is:

Stuffing

1 loaf of rye or wheat bread, cubed
1/2 stick butter or Earth Balance

2 tbsp thyme

1 tbsp sage

1 tbsp tarragon

2 bay leaves
fresh garlic to taste

1 tsp garam masala

1 large onion

handful basil, fresh or dried

1 tbsp tomato paste

1/2 cup water

2 tbsp soy sauce

Salt to taste

Cotija, parmesan or nutritional yeast to taste

Saute thyme, garlic, tarragon, and bay leaves in butter. Add diced onion and cook until the onion is almost translucent. Add bread and saute until everything is browned and oily and good. Transfer everything to a large pot and add the tomato paste, water, and soy sauce which has been mixed together. Cook for around 15-20 minutes, then add basil, salt, and the cheesy item.

Tofu cutlets

This has been covered in an entry dated last January. Use the same tofu cutlet preparation as for 'Tofu Aurore'.

Gravy

Cut up some garlic, spring onions, and get thyme leaves. Saute everything in butter or olive oil. Stir flour into a little soy sauce until you get a nice paste, then mix in water or milk, a little at a time, until you have enough for the amount of gravy that you want to make. The ratio is usually 2 tbsp. flour to 1/2 cup gravy. Pour the liquid into your pan and stir until it's thickened. You can add a little nutritional yeast, but I do not believe this to be necessary.

Mashed Potatoes

There are many ways to make them. I generally use russet, and boil them whole. This prevents them from incorporating too much water as they boil. I also boil them in water with salt or Adobo added to it. I mash them with butter or margarine while adding a mix of scallions, salt and garlic, and milk is added at the point when the potatoes become stirrable with the amount of butter added.

Dip

2008-08-14T15:57:00.000-07:00

Like most other youths and party types, metalheads tend to enjoy dip.

Smoky Blood-Red Mexican Thrash Salsa

4 plum tomatoes

1/2 onion

1 bell pepper

6 cloves garlic

Cilantro, salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup tomato puree

2 chipotles (substitute jalapenos if chipotles can't be found)

Half a lime

Cut up your vegetables into very, very small pieces, possibly with the aid of a mandoline or food processor. Take all of the garlic and chipotles and half of the tomatoes, onion and pepper and cook them with the tomato puree, salt and pepper for a while. Mix together the raw and cooked vegetable mixtures and squeeze half a lime into the end result.

"Heavy Metal in Baghdad" Hummus

Cooked chickpeas

First press, extra virgin olive oil (Trader Joe's surprisingly makes good stuff)

Salt

Pepper

Half a lemon

Tahini (you can substitute peanut butter)
Garlic (to taste)

Get out a large mortar and pestle and mash garlic, a clove at a time, into a small amount of olive oil and salt until it is emusified into a sort of mush. Set aside. Using a food processor or large mortar and pestle, puree your chickpeas and stir in the olive oil / garlic mixture. Stir in some tahini and squeeze in lemon. If it's too dry, put in more olive oil. Dig a small well on top of the hummus and put in a little olive oil and a sprig of parsley.

Where To Eat After A Show

2008-08-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

Among power metal kids, there's a tradition of going to the McDonald's across the street from B. B. King's. However, metalheads with taste generally want something a bit better - in terms of both music and food.

Lower Manhattan:

When you've attended a show in the Village, whether it be at Irving Plaza or a smaller venue, here are some good places to grab a bite:

1. 24 hour Food Emporium. Right next to Irving Plaza, this overpriced supermarket has some good stuff, such as birch beer. Chris, Dave and I chugged a 2 liter bottle of birch beer after seeing At the Gates.

2. Halal food stands around Midtown. The halal food stands around Times Square are a good option for when there is the rare decent black metal show at B. B. King's. These bastions of Islamic-fried tastiness include vegetarian options such as falafel, and are manned around the clock.

Western Queens:

There is a growing metal scene in Long Island city, centered around bands that growl in Spanish and perform at Metal Kingdom Records. Western Queens is also one of the best places to get food around the clock.

1. Queens Plaza Subway and Fried Chicken - This place is decently priced and serves Subway, fried chicken, salad, deli stuff, and breakfast foods around the clock. Their eggs on toast are phenomenal, they use real cheese, and their veggie burgers are surprisingly not vile. This place is right across from the Rawson 7 train station and mere steps from Metal Kingdom. It's also easily accessible from Manhattan.

2. Roti Boti - If you want Indian food at 3 in the morning after a night of brutal death metal, this is the place to go. Not only is it decently priced (around $15 to serve 3-4 people), it is also a high quality sit-down restaurant with classic dishes like chickpeas, okra curry, and chicken tikka masala. Just hop on the 7 train and head to 74th St. Jackson Heights.

3. There are also ubiquitous halal food stands in most of Queens.

4. Chinese / Mexican takeout places are frequently open late, and serve an inexpensive array of classic Chinese takeout dishes as well as fresh, vegetable-filled tacos and quesadillas resembling a utopian Taco Bell and miscellaneous items such as fried chicken, plantains, burgers and the like. They can be found all over NYC.

Chickpea balls for a night at the recording studio.

2008-07-16T20:51:00.001-07:00

1 cup dried TVP granules
1 1/4 cups boiling water
1/2 cup chickpea flour
1/4 cup all purpose flour
4 tbsp paprika
3 tbsp sage
pinch thyme
1 tbsp soy sauce
1/4 cup nutritional yeast (NOT brewer's yeast)
1 tbsp dill
1 tbsp salt
1 tbsp pepper
2 tbsp garlic powder
Chopped fresh parsley and scallions
Ginger might be good, but I didn't add any this time.

Put your TVP in the water and mix everything else together. When your TVP rehydrates, stir everything else in, spoonful by spoonful. Take spoonfuls, scrape them off your spoon, and fry.

Here I drink alone, and remember...

2008-06-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Black Metal Rose
4 oz birch beer
4 oz milk or any milquey beverage
4 oz Jagermeister
Serve in a black-glass goblet.
If you put in vodka instead of Jager you get the infamous drink "Black Metal Princess" instead.

Prison-Style Wine
1 gallon water
2 lbs sugar
2 cans OJ concentrate
1 can apple juice concentrate
Turbo Yeast
Kool Aid Orange mix
Lemon juice to taste

First you boil together the water and sugar, then you let it cool down a bit and chuck in the juices and Kool Aid mix. Then, when it's all lukewarm, you put in some Turbo Yeast and pack your drink away into 2 L bottles, with the caps unscrewed just a little bit. Put your bottles in a corner, and make sure to crack the caps a bit each day to let air out. Your wine will be ready in 2 weeks because Turbo Yeast can theoretically go up to 20% alcohol if you let it run its course, so one week is not enough. Do not use normal wine yeast. If you want to actually be able to get drunk on this stuff, freeze it partially and take out the ice blocks.

De Mysteriis Dom Seitanas

2008-06-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Seitan is a type of protein blob, similar to tofu. It is made from wheat, and I know that if I eat too much of it, it makes me crap my guts out. However, it is full of nutrients, tastes fairly good, and the one I make generates its own gravy.

10 oz. vital wheat gluten
5 oz. chickpea flour (the reason this recipe generates its own gravy)
3 tbsp nutritional yeast
3 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp liquid smoke
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp thyme leaves
1/2 tsp tarragon
1 tbsp brown sugar
pinch celery seed powder
salt... use your own judgment
1 tbsp garlic powder
bay leaf
10 oz. water
onions, water, carrots
4 oz. light olive oil

Mix all the liquids. Mix all the powders. Take powders and add them to the liquid, slowly stirring until everything is a gooey ball. Put water, salt, onions, a bay leaf, and carrots into a greased slow cooker with it for 4 hours on high.

Stoner Brook Blazes Red Hot

2008-05-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I am finishing up my sentence here at Stony Brook, which sucks. Stony Brook has now embarked upon a campaign for us to wear 'official Stony Brook merchandise' and is facilitating this by giving out free T-shirts. My friend and I were discussing this matter, and felt it would be better for them to give out free socks and underwear, because let's face it, nobody wants to wear a school shirt, and to wear one just shows that you can't afford anything else (i.e. metal shirts). So save the school spirit for our socks and boxers, because those dictate most college students' laundry plans.

Hot Topic Presents.... What The Hell?

2008-04-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

Gigantour isn't black metal related. However, whether due to peer pressure, an interest in mainstream metal, or a lack of things to do in suburbia, many black metal fans turn up at this tour every year, and make up a small contingent of dudes in Burzum shirts standing awkwardly amidst hordes of screaming high school students.

There's nothing wrong with black metal fans attending non-black metal shows: people are just trying to expand their musical palates and explore new things. But there is something highly disturbing about this year's Gigantour:

... it's sponsored by the abhorrent, technicolor bunghole of Abercrombie and Fitch Corporation, Hot Topic.

Even though In Flames, who are on this year's Gigantour, are of questionable loyalty to the metal scene, what the hell does an overpriced jean and T-shirt manufacturer catering to wealthy middle school students have to do with metal music of any sort?

Sure, "nu metal" and metalcore are somewhat part of the metal family, and deserve recognition for introducing 12 year olds to the electric guitar. But... Hot Topic doesn't even sell metal shirts. I've actually visited the store once, and it featured a large display of "Anime Rules" merchandise and Avril Lavigne wristbands. I would've thought that Hot Topic's main fan base, upper middle class grade schoolers, would eschew Megadeth for being "old people music".

Apparently, this match made in hell is representing metal today, and thousands of black metal fans across the nation are inadvertantly contributing to the onward spread of Snot Optics. Why, there's even a Hot Topic in staunchly working class and immigrant Queens, New York, the latest in an emofication campaign against the local native culture, which is hip hop. An 'urban' emo image has been engineered for the inner city, consisting of testicle-crushing trousers paired with classics such as the Afro haircut and tightly fitting hip hop styled clothing.

Likewise, Hot Topic has also encroached into the metal scene, marketing wannabe metal bands like Avenged Sevenfold as 'New American metal' and associating the metalhead image with that of testicle-crushing jeans, teased hair, and mascara. It's like the '80s, but worse- and good folk like Dave Mustaine, who resisted the first wave of this bullshit, are succumbing to its bastard child.