Here I drink alone, and remember...

Black Metal Rose
4 oz birch beer
4 oz milk or any milquey beverage
4 oz Jagermeister
Serve in a black-glass goblet.
If you put in vodka instead of Jager you get the infamous drink "Black Metal Princess" instead.

Prison-Style Wine
1 gallon water
2 lbs sugar
2 cans OJ concentrate
1 can apple juice concentrate
Turbo Yeast
Kool Aid Orange mix
Lemon juice to taste

First you boil together the water and sugar, then you let it cool down a bit and chuck in the juices and Kool Aid mix. Then, when it's all lukewarm, you put in some Turbo Yeast and pack your drink away into 2 L bottles, with the caps unscrewed just a little bit. Put your bottles in a corner, and make sure to crack the caps a bit each day to let air out. Your wine will be ready in 2 weeks because Turbo Yeast can theoretically go up to 20% alcohol if you let it run its course, so one week is not enough. Do not use normal wine yeast. If you want to actually be able to get drunk on this stuff, freeze it partially and take out the ice blocks.